The Art of Asking
Asking for what you want (or need) can be a way to unlock your potential & achieve your dreams. But for many of us, this is a terrifying notion so terrifying in fact, that we’d rather live with not getting what we want & need. Entertaining frustration as the less painful option to ‘asking’ for what we want. Opting to nurse consistent complaints before taking this risk just to ask!
Description: Person in a suit covering their face with a question mark
As many of us head into the holiday season, with traditions we love (& some we’re not too keen on) you may be bracing yourself for receiving ‘things’ you don’t want or need.
It’s a peculiar challenge because, generally, the spirit of giving is truly a joy to be part of, so how can this work better for both givers & receivers? According to Amanda Palmer’s memoir ‘The Art of Asking’ the answer might be to fully embrace THE ASK.
“The Art of Asking is a book about cultivating trust & getting as close as possible to love, vulnerability, and connection. Uncomfortably close. Dangerously close. Beautifully close. And uncomfortably close is exactly where we need to be if we want to transform this culture of scarcity and fundamental distrust”
Dr Margie Warrell inspires people to live & lead with greater courage, offering practical tips on the do's & don'ts of making requests.
7 Keys to Asking For What You Really Want (So You Get It!)
Margie Warrell, Ph.D
1. Don’t assume others are mind readers
2. Be bold in what you ask for (don't dilute!)
3. Be specific about what you want and when you want it
4. Be clear about what you won't tolerate
5. Forget hints - be direct
6. Ditch the martyr act
7. Don’t make ‘no’ mean more than it does
Remember to:
- be patient: it might take more than one ask, & you might hear ‘no’ before you hear ‘yes’
- show appreciation: when you do get what you want, as this will transform others understanding of who you are & what you need
Face the fear & do it anyway
We understand there’s a swag of common fears, that get in the way of ‘asking’ but facing these demons, as they occur for you, may be the first step required. Assisting you to find greater fulfillment, because potentially nothing is going to change until you ask for it.
Practice makes perfect: so what’s your first ask going to be?